September is a good time to deal with holiday custody schedules. Waiting until Thanksgiving week usually means rushed decisions, missed details, and unnecessary arguments.
If you share custody in California, your regular weekly schedule may not answer the most important holiday questions:
- Who has the children on Thanksgiving?
- Does Christmas Eve stay with one parent and Christmas Day with the other?
- When does winter break begin and end?
- Who handles transportation?
- What happens if the holiday schedule conflicts with the normal parenting schedule?
A clear written holiday schedule can prevent many of these disputes. Here is how California parents commonly handle Thanksgiving, Christmas, and other holidays: and what to do if your current custody order does not work anymore.
California Does Not Use One Mandatory Holiday Schedule
California courts do not impose one holiday schedule on every family. Parents can create a plan that fits their children’s ages, school calendar, travel needs, family traditions, and distance between households.
The court’s main concern is the child’s best interests. Under California law, that includes the child’s health, safety, and welfare, as well as the importance of maintaining appropriate contact with both parents.
The goal is not to make every holiday perfectly equal down to the minute. The goal is to create a predictable plan that works for the children and reduces conflict.
California courts and parents often use Form FL-341(C), Children’s Holiday Schedule Attachment, to outline holiday and vacation parenting time.
Why a Written Holiday Schedule Matters
Verbal agreements may work when parents communicate well. They become a problem when memories differ, plans change, or emotions run high.
A written schedule should answer the practical questions before they become arguments. For each holiday, identify:
- The exact start and end date
- The exact exchange time
- Where the exchange will occur
- Which parent handles transportation
- Whether the schedule overrides the regular parenting plan
- How school breaks fit into the holiday period
- What happens if a parent cannot exercise scheduled time
- How travel or out-of-town visits will be handled
- Whether the parents must provide advance notice of travel plans
In most cases, a holiday schedule takes priority over the regular parenting schedule when the two conflict, unless the court order says otherwise. For example, if the regular schedule gives Parent A the first weekend of the month but the holiday order gives Parent B Thanksgiving weekend, the holiday provision will usually control.
Do not rely on assumptions. Read the actual order.
Common Ways to Split Thanksgiving and Christmas
There is no single “right” arrangement. These are some of the most common approaches.
1. Alternating the Full Holiday Day by Year
Under an alternating schedule, one parent has Thanksgiving in even-numbered years, and the other parent has Thanksgiving in odd-numbered years. Christmas may alternate the opposite way.
For example:
- Parent A has Thanksgiving in even-numbered years.
- Parent B has Thanksgiving in odd-numbered years.
- Parent A has Christmas Eve in odd-numbered years.
- Parent B has Christmas Eve in even-numbered years.
This arrangement is simple and predictable. It can work well when parents live far apart or when splitting the day would create too much driving.
The downside is that a parent may go an entire year without spending a particular holiday with the children.
2. Splitting the Holiday Day in Two Parts
Some parents divide the actual holiday such as Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day into two parts. One parent may have the children on Thanksgiving from 8:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. The other parent may have them from on Thanksgiving from 2:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. Parents that select this schedule like it because they get to see the children on the actual holiday day every year. When parents opt for this schedule, they typically alternate each year which parent has the first part and second part so the children have the opportunity to spend the "desired" portion of the day (e.g., Christmas morning or Thanksgiving Dinner) with both parents.
This schedule can work when:
- The parents live relatively close to each other
- Exchanges can happen calmly
- The children can handle the transition
- Both parents follow the schedule closely
Be specific about the exchange time. “Thanksgiving afternoon” is not specific enough. Use a time such as 2:00 p.m.
This schedule is typically desired when chilrden are young (birth to five or six). The obvious problem with this schedule is that it does not afford the opportunity for out of town travel on the holiday.
3. Dividing Christmas Eve and Christmas Day
Christmas often works better when parents divide the holiday into defined periods rather than trying to split Christmas Day repeatedly.
A schedule might provide:
- Parent A: December 24 at 10:00 a.m. through December 25 at noon
- Parent B: December 25 at noon through December 26 at 6:00 p.m.
Another option is to give one parent Christmas Eve every year and the other parent Christmas Day every year, then switch the arrangement the following year.
For younger children, too many transitions may be exhausting. For older children, the schedule may need to account for religious services, family gatherings, and the child’s own preferences.
4. Odd-and-Even Year Schedules for the Entire School Break
Odd-and-even year schedules assign holidays according to the calendar year. This can make the order easy to follow:
- Parent A has the entire Thanksgiving break in odd-numbered years.
- Parent B has the entire Thanksgiving break in even-numbered years.
- Parent A has the entire Christmas/Winter break in even-numbered years.
- Parent B has the entire Christmas/Winter in odd-numbered years.
This approach avoids yearly renegotiation. It also gives both parents a predictable opportunity to plan travel and family events.
Make sure the order clearly defines whether “Christmas” means Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, winter break, or all three.
5. Equal Division of the Entire School Break
An "equal division" of a school break in a custody schedule just means splitting the total days of that break in half between the two parents, rather than alternating whole breaks year-to-year.
In Kern County, most public schools get a full week break for Thanksgiving and Spring Break. A common equal division of these breaks is accomplished by dividing the break into two parts. For example, Part 1 commences when school lets out on Friday to Wednesday at noon. Part 2 commences at noon on Wednesday to return to school on the Monday after the break.
- Parent A has Part 1 in odd-numbered years.
- Parent B has Part 1 in even-numbered years.
- Parent A has Part 2 in even-numbered years.
- Parent B has Part 2 in odd-numbered years.
6. Fixed Holidays and Rotating Holidays
Some families assign certain holidays permanently. For example, it is typical for the children may spend every Father’s Day with one parent and every Mother’s Day with the other. Thanksgiving and Christmas may rotate.
This can make sense when a particular holiday has special meaning for one parent or when extended family traditions make a permanent arrangement practical.
The schedule should still be balanced overall. Consider school breaks, birthdays, three-day weekends, and summer vacations: not just Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Do Not Forget the Other Holidays
A complete holiday schedule should address more than Thanksgiving and Christmas. Consider including:
- New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day
- Easter or other religious holidays
- Spring break
- Memorial Day weekend
- Fourth of July
- Labor Day weekend
- Halloween
- Mother’s Day and Father’s Day
- School winter break
- School spring break
- Summer vacation
- Long weekends and teacher workdays
If a holiday is not addressed, parents may end up arguing over whether the regular schedule applies. The more important the date, the more useful it is to address it directly.
How to Modify an Existing Holiday Custody Order
If your current order does not address holidays: or no longer works: you may be able to change it by agreement or through the court.
If Both Parents Agree
Parents can agree to a one-time holiday swap. Put the agreement in writing, including:
- The date and time of the change
- Who will pick up and return the child
- Whether the change is one-time or permanent
- Whether makeup parenting time applies
- Any travel or communication arrangements
A text message may document a temporary agreement, but it does not automatically change a court order. For a permanent change, the safest approach is to put the new terms into a formal stipulated order filed with the court.
If the Other Parent Does Not Agree
You may need to file a Request for Order, Form FL-300, asking the court to change custody or parenting time. You may also use Form FL-311 to describe the parenting schedule and Form FL-341(C) for the holiday schedule.
In practice, a parent requesting a change to an existing custody order usually needs to explain what has changed and why the proposed plan serves the child’s best interests. Examples may include:
- A major change in the child’s school schedule
- A parent’s significant work-schedule change
- A move or increased travel distance
- A child’s changing medical or developmental needs
- Repeated problems with exchanges
- A holiday schedule that creates unreasonable travel or conflict
- Safety concerns or domestic violence
In Kern County, family law cases involving disputed custody or visitation require mediation before a court hearing. In Kern County, lawyers are not permitted to participate in mediation. If the parents reach either a full or partial agreement at mediation, the court will adopt those agreements as an order and have a hearing on the unresolved inssues. In Bakersfield, Kern County Family Court Services handles custody mediation.
Tips for Kern County and Bakersfield Parents
Holiday travel can be especially complicated in Kern County. We are a large county! A schedule that works for two parents living near central Bakersfield may not work when one parent lives in Tehachapi, Ridgecrest, Delano, or another distant community.
Before finalizing a plan, think through:
- Traffic and winter driving conditions
- School dismissal and return times
- Work schedules
- Distance between homes
- Whether exchanges should happen at school, a public location, or a parent’s home
- Who pays for gas, flights, or other travel
- Whether grandparents or extended family will be involved
- How the child will stay in contact with the other parent
- How much notice is required for travel
Keep communication short and focused on the children. Use a shared calendar or parenting communication app if direct conversations routinely become arguments.
Do not make the children carry messages between parents. Do not ask them to choose which parent gets a holiday. Adults should handle the schedule.
If safety is a concern, do not treat the holiday as a reason to ignore protective orders or other court requirements. Talk with a family law attorney about safe exchanges, supervised visitation, or other appropriate protections.
Start Planning for the Winter Holidays in September
Holiday custody problems rarely improve when everyone waits until November. Start by reviewing your current custody order and school calendar now.
Then make a written proposal that includes:
- Thanksgiving dates and times
- Christmas Eve and Christmas Day arrangements
- Winter break dates
- Other major holidays
- Exchange locations and transportation
- Travel-notice requirements
- Any special needs or safety provisions
A practical, detailed proposal gives you something concrete to discuss in mediation or with the other parent. It also makes it easier to identify the issues that need legal help.
Talk With a Bakersfield Family Law Attorney
Holiday parenting plans should give children stability: not create another fight every year. If you need to create a holiday custody schedule, interpret an existing order, or request a modification, The Gorski Firm can help you understand your options.
Contact The Gorski Firm, a Bakersfield family law attorney serving Kern County and clients throughout California, to discuss your custody and holiday-schedule concerns.
